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Melissa Richardson Banks

Melancholy musings, quirky rants, and more-oft-than-not boring observations from an urbanist living in California and Texas.

A Day without Make-Up at Age 43

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May 07, 2006

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Unsettled Memories

May 02, 2019

After over two decades, I returned to my home state, which unsettled the memories in my mind and made them resurface, often prompted by sifting through boxes of collected items over the years. I realized I've come a long way. I look at photos of myself from days long gone, and wonder who is that girl? Did her dreams come true? Did she know where she was headed? Did she know she was loved, and that she loved many? I then look at people who were with me on my journey -- where are they now, in those cases when they are no longer in my life? In the sunlight, I see my shadows, and sometimes there are others with me. I may not see their shadows, but they are there. My journey is in motion; my life is not static; but, I wander, I wonder, I want.

Three Kings Day

January 06, 2018

Today is Día de Los Tres Reyes Magos (Three Kings' Day) , and while religiously this day is also known as the Epiphany , I had an epiphany of my own when I realized I lost three men in my life during 2017 who were "kings" to me in their own unique ways. The first king who passed away was my father, H. Gary Richardson. While his soul exited his body on January 17, 2017, the last day that I spent with him alive on earth was January 6, 2017, so this day of kings will remain imprinted in my mind. His spirit is alive in my heart today. The second king who I lost this past year was my sweet dog Vatche. It was so painful to be forced to make the decision to let him go on Saturday, May 13, 2017, exactly 12 years to the day that he entered my life. He taught me so much, and I miss him every day. I aspire to keep him alive by emulating all of his goodness in whatever I do. The third king was my friend Greg Escalante. I had known of Greg for years before I finally met him ...

Dating in Today's Online Crazy World

July 16, 2018

Dating ... dang. I am reminded of a saying that my father used to say "don't force what don't fit." Online dating seems so forced ... and I can say -- after months of posting profiles first on Match, then Tinder, cancelling Match and trying Bumble, and then checking out OkCupid -- this whole process is so ridiculous. Whatever happened to meeting in real life? The funny thing is that I have actually seen a few of these guys in person after viewing their profiles online, and while I know they saw mine (those online systems notify you!), from across the room, we might make eye contact, perhaps give a small wave, and even mouth a shy "hello" without outing either one of us ... it seems like, down deep, we are still shy middle-schoolers, and now it's just easier to post anonymously online than to approach each other and avoid the possible real-life pain of rejection? Heck, most women (and men) won't shoot anyone down for a genuine cordial attempt at...