Melissa Richardson Banks

My father passed away. I knew it would happen someday, but I never expected it at this time. Since 1993, he's been asking me to come back to Texas, and so finally this year, a few months ago, I returned. I knew I needed to see him, and waited until I could slip away for a couple of days. I surprised him, and suddenly realized how ill he really was. He always sounded so positive and upbeat during our regular phone calls. I was glad that my brother Eric was with me so we could attend to his health needs, but it was too late.

I have left my mark in Downtown Los Angeles ... and now it is time to go. - Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

It's the little things that matter. I'm inspired by the simple actions by others who demonstrate their love of others and of you. Today, I'm basking in the warmth of those who have touched my life recently. You know you are loved when: Your baby brother (now a father and in his mid-40s!) rearranges his two-hour airport shuttle so that he can ride on yours to spend MORE time with you (and arrive four hours early for his flight, which means he just hangs around the Denver airport on Christmas Day until he departs). Now, who in their right mind would do that? Well, I guess a caring man who I must not have traumatized too much when we were kids. Your boyfriend gets up and washes the dishes without being asked. Your dog gazes into your eyes and then snuggles into your neck, leaning against you for what it seems like hours. Your dogs walk nonstop during a mile-long morning walk that you desperately need! Your neighbor brings your newspaper two flights up to your door in the morni...

Life is all about doing your own thang [INSERT TEXAS TWANG HERE] ... what is BEST for you seems to be BEST for others as you become an inspiration just by feeling good about yourself and emitting positive energy. For me, life is also about expression, sharing, doing, feeling. But enough about me right now -- view the YouTube video, which, after viewing it myself, reminded me of the importance of carving your own path in life's jungle, experiencing pure joy in the simplest of things, and doing things that feel good to you and not worrying about what others might think. Watch this solitary guy in the midst of an unenthused crowd dancing away to his own beat, seemingly without caring what others around him think, and later inspiring others to let it all hang out for themselves. Watch the WHOLE thing (it's only about 3 minutes!). Remember: Be UNSTOPPABLE, be true to yourself, and do your own THANG!!!

I love my downtown L.A. -- its concrete starkness, its desolate beauty, its haunting quietness. Over the past three years, when it suddenly became "hip," these peaceful qualities were often shattered by the sounds of loud voices, too many cars, and breaking beer bottles. Luckily, that phase seems to be more of an ugly duckling phase as the area's hipness clunkily settles in. I still miss the longer spans of solitude that used to exist as I traversed the city at all hours, but now I find it in less-traveled paths at night.

I've lived and worked downtown since 1993, and never have I felt threatened, scared, or frightened to be here. Before I started my business in 2000, my office was at Central Library, so I dutifully walked a four-mile trip every weekday, leaving each morning at 7 AM and returning home around 7 PM. I was one of the few in those days who walked downtown at night. Last night, I had an interesting experience. I have two dogs that I walk thrice-daily, the last walk typically around 9 or 10 PM. We took a familiar route, and stopped for a moment so my dogs could tinkle in the grass near a four-story office structure on the north side of my loft building. We were about four feet from its glass entrance when the left door suddenly shattered. I was on the cell phone, talking to my boyfriend. It seemed like his call disconnected around the same time of a flash of something, glass breaking, and the noise of it all. I looked across the street -- no movement, no people, no sounds ... parked cars...

Yesterday was an incredible day. It was a day like no other -- one in which I smiled so much and was so happy that my facial muscles ached. I played hooky ... yep, and with a "boy" (i.e., definitely a man!). I let him sweep me away from the doldrums and intensities of overworking, speeding me along in his vintage sportscar on winding mountain roads -- far, far away from my dusty urban concrete hideaway up to and back from a snowy summit where blue skies reigned and the icy cold air welcomingly braced my entire body. Yes, that man -- ruggedly, yet boyishly and quirkily handsome with his precisely trimmed hipster crewcut and his lanky frame wrapped in jeans and a t-shirt topped with a tan suede coat ... I was scared -- I wanted to touch his hand, accidentally brush against his leg, but I was afraid that, once it happened, the electricity wouldn't let me break away, so I settled more deeply into the car seat, and stared out the window as the engine roared. I couldn't g...

skeleton ruins night sky a man pedals a bicycle down an otherwise lonely street horsepower over the line another rides fast a blur outrunning the night hard into the dawn primal screams howl from chrome exhaust pipes echoing across darkened urban canyons the rider knows that somewhere in this city a lady lies somewhere there is love somewhere but tonight he rides through skeleton ruins

full moon presides over empty streets wet pavement glistens beckoning the rider alone rides into the womb of the city heaven is here somewhere he feels it in the moonlit hours before dawn the vibe flows through him on the wind raindrops cleanse him hard and fast he rides baptized on the boulevard he tries not to think just ride just be just feel the moment for in this quiet town somewhere lies a lady waiting? the rider shall stop someday and stay

step into the urban rhythm ancient brick illuminated by starlight in the neon glow they steal a graffiti kiss electric

Should I be saying "45 and LOVING It" as opposed to "45 and Looking Back"? Not sure that I "love" it so much when I "look back." Interesting ... it wasn't until my recent birthday that I felt my age (in spite of still looking younger than many of my friends). For the first time, I feel like I'm moving a little slower and less energetic. My skin is getting drier (I remember my mom telling me that I should use lotion and sunscreen). My eyes have significantly deteriorated in vision over the past year -- it seems like a 200% decrease in visibility, especially when attempting to read. It was only months ago (and lasting for 29 years) that my vision was good enough for me to legally drive without corrective lenses. My skin seems thinner, drier, and looser. My hair grows quickly, but seems to get drier, grayer, and frizzier. I'm getting age spots and wrinkles. I'm growing hair where I shouldn't and losing it where it should be. My m...

I just found two speeches I wrote when I was 18 years old (now I'm 44). Below is one of them (I'll post the other one later): Goals. Why do we need them. Goals help us establish meaning and values in our lives. They give us a purpose in life. When we strive for goals, we are adding growth and identity to our lives. Everyone needs to determine some kind of goal. Viktor Frankl quotes Nietzsche in his book saying, "He who has a 'why' for living can bear with almost any 'how.'" Cases of extreme deprivation such as the concentration camp experience in the past wars illustrate the human need for a sense of direction and purpose; those who lost all sense of meaning and gave up hope, died. Although we are not faced with such extreme conditions, the lack of meaning seems to be a pressing and pervasive problem in our society. Many who are fortunate enough to achieve power, fame, success, and material comfort nevertheless experience a sense of emptiness. Altho...

Our trip to Sacramento was planned to the minute. From LAX, my client and I would arrive in California's capital and go immediately to his planned interview with CBS. However, once the plane landed, I discovered that everything was cancelled and we had two hours to spare. What to do? From this, I learned a LESSON IN POWER. The POWER of "celebrity," the POWER of "knowing people," the POWER of "experience," the POWER of "figuring out what to do," the POWER of "confidence," the POWER of "trusting yourself." My client is a celebrity. I represent his interests in art and culture; which has included creating and currently touring an exhibition of works from his world-renowned collection as well as producing a companion documentary film based on the featured artists. Back to the story (and the LESSON IN POWER): Minutes to spare, needing to act fast. Using who I knew and who he is, I was able to finagle getting an audience with th...

I give up ... there isn't someone out there who can share my life. When you read those online personals, everyone sounds the same: they all go to the gym, visit the beach at sunset, manage a company, travel to Europe, drink wine, eat in fine restaurants, etc., etc., etc.! Blah, blah, blah, blah, bleech. I'm unconventional and do have conventional elements in my life due to professional obligations and goals. It just seems that everyone has become so "strip mall" ... blocks and blocks of sameness. I'm bored. I'll miss living downtown when I leave ... I'm on the path to moving by the end of the year. I can see the writing on the wall. Little Tokyo is slowly losing its character: Office Depot, Subway, Quizmo's, and Starbucks prevail while Japanese-American owned businesses fall by the wayside. Century-old industrial buildings are either torn down with stucco-clad apartments in their place or transformed into tiny, anti-artist "loft-described" cl...

Earlier this year, I received two front-row seats for a presentation by Dan Rather on January 27 at Disney Hall (my guest and I also got to meet him afterwards during a private reception). One thing that he shared was, while he doesn't make New Year resolutions, he does take the opportunity at the birth of a new year to reflect and to ask himself one simple question: "Do I still have time to become the person I was intended to be?" I have thought of that often and recognize that we do not come into this world with a guarantee of living 80 years or so. Every day is a gift.

The first word that pops into mind is "stretching" as in "stretching beyond my comfort level." Relationships with my ex-husband of nearly 11 years and a 6-year relationship that recently ended were ones that made me "stretch." The first one inspired me to travel, think creatively, cook more interestingly, appreciate quality, and to continue my education that later led to my post-graduate degrees. The second one was also instrumental by example in moving forward with my business even after my best friend died. Also, I learned through this relationship that alcoholism is indeed a disease -- unfortunately, we both shared the experience of loved ones who had not successfully sought help. For years, I realized that I had secretly harboring anger toward my brother, my sister, and my ex-husband for being "weak," not truly believing in my heart until later that they were simply ill and needed to find help on their own. In short, I learned a lot and remai...

(Dog #1): Four-month old chihuahua-golden retriever mix (today, he's about a year old) rescued on May 13, 2005 ... taught me how to be human again (and lots of other stuff!) (Dog #2): Two-year old miniature Irish setter-looking mutt (Papillion/long-haired dachshund mix) ... rescued on April 7, 2006 ... easier the second time around (gotta handle that "barking-and-chasing-the-cat" thang!) Today I realized that being a dog owner (similar to being a parent, I think!) teaches you how to let go ... i.e., it's okay that mud gets all over me and the inside of my car after they have happily run free in the dew-soaked grass and puddles in the park. They are happy, satisfied, and that's when I knew why I got Dog #2 even when some of my friends said I was crazy ... Dog #1 at long last has that companionship he needs beyond me ... he can play, run free, and love all ... especially with a dog pal that is more of his equal in size (his former girlfriend was a MUCH bigger dog ...

It doesn't matter how old you are; we all seem to experience times in our lives when we simply need reassurance. Reassurance that you're loved, respected, honored, meaningful, attractive, doing the right thing, and needed ... validation from someone else that you mean something. Funny, it's almost like what I do (consulting). Consultants often get more respect from the corporate boss than the staff; an outsider can validate what you are doing right ... or wrong. Reassurance is that external point of view that reaffirms hopefully what you already (or should) know about yourself -- YOU matter. When you're down, lonely, rejected, or just sad, reassurance can bring you back to reality -- yes, you DO matter. Whatever you are feeling is just temporary, and a loved one can remind you that it will soon pass. You will get through it. What I love about getting older is having a reservoir of life experiences from which to draw strength and perhaps ... yes, reassurance from myself....

I woke suddenly this morning at 4:20 AM, feeling what I thought was an earthquake. I turned on the television, then the radio, remembering that sometimes the latter was quicker to respond. Nothing ... did I imagine it? Oddly, it was about 12 years ago when the last quake hit Los Angeles, about the same time, almost the same day. Was I dreaming?